Old.

When I was younger I use to see the many adults around me and wonder how they were ever the youth. To me, as to most people I'm sure, there seemed a chasm between my peers and adults. It didn't make one lick of sense to me how my peers were ever going to get there either. The thing I'm talking about isn't so simple to describe with precision.
Allow me to pose a question:

What do you call the corruption of the ideal we know to be "responsibility?" Refusing to get out and enjoy a beautiful day because you need that second job. Opting out of that exercise class because you just can't afford it this month - and then there you are daily at the bar after work. Being OK with 2 weeks paid vacation. Selling an instrument you once thought you'd learn to play because let's face it - you'll never find the time. Staying in hotels. Being too good for the greyhound bus. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Girls night out. Random drug testing. Credit Card debt. "Starter homes." Weekend getaways.

The older I get the more I understand it. I use to think when you get out of school you have all these options and no one is telling you what you SHOULD do anymore. I don't know where I got that idea but it's certainly wrong. I get it now. There will always be a path I should follow.
A path I'm currently not following. The trouble is, I'm not exactly doing anything all too fabulous or worthwhile as an alternative to following that path. Life is largely mundane from the outside looking in.

It's kind of like this journal entry - I had potential when I started writing, but then I just gave up.